Seoul Food

First things first: as many of you know, I am a coffee addict. Though coffee is not "technically" a food, I would rate it pretty darn high on the list of things necessary to keep me nourished. 

That said, it is nearly impossible to find a decent cup of coffee here in SoKo. 

'Devastating' is just one word that came to mind when I realized this. 

The Koreans claim they drink coffee. There's even an alleged "coffee" machine at the school. But, to steal from the ever-brilliant Douglas Adams, this liquid is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike coffee. It gushes out of this machine into miniature, espresso-sized paper cups, but it is not espresso. Oh no. It tastes like liquid sugar with coffee flavoring. Horrified, I tried to water it down a bit, at which point I was told by a Korean teacher that I was diluting it too much. 

Yes. That was the point. 

Despite its non-resemblance to the coffee that I know and love, I still drink about 4 dixie cups of the stuff a day. An addiction is an addiction. 

There are many Starbucks here, and even Dunkin' Donuts, so if I really need to get a fix I can go there, but it makes me sad. Plus, they charge 3,000 won for a black coffee (that's about $2.50)! I miss little independent coffee shops or cafes on every block.  

I thought I had outsmarted the system when I found boxes of instant coffee at my friendly neighborhood Kosa Mart. Better than nothing. Some of the boxes were labeled "mocha." I assumed that this was the sugary substance I'd been drinking, and so delightedly picked up the box simply labeled "coffee." There was a smiling Korean woman on the box drinking what appeared to be delicious black coffee! She looked so happy! Where could I go wrong?

No. Nonono. It was but exactly the same liquid that comes out of the school's version of the Nutrimatic dispenser. I don't even want to know what the mochas here taste like. 

Luckily, the food here is so delightful that it almost makes up for Korea's lies about possessing real coffee. One of the greatest things about the school where I work is that we are served lunch and dinner Monday through Friday. The meals are infinitely better than any of the sludge I was ever served in school. There's a communal philosophy to eating here. No one gets their own meal. All the teachers sit around a table and a variety of plates and bowls are brought out and everyone just goes at it with their chopsticks. 

Which are metal, by the way. I'm not really sure why, as most other Asian countries use wooden chopsticks, which I am much more accustomed to using. To my great embarrassment and shame, one of the other teachers pointed out that I was holding my chopsticks much too far down as I tried to pick up a particularly tricksy piece of kimchi. The metal chopsticks are more slippery, but I am learning. 

Most of the time I don't really know what I'm eating, but I usually enjoy it. Rice is served with pretty much every meal, as is kimchi, though it is still unclear to me why one would want to eat kimchi three times a day. For those of you unfamiliar with kimchi (I was), it is basically fermented cabbage or radish that can have all sorts of seasonings. There are over 400 kinds. They also serve about ten side dishes with every meal. 

As flavorful as the food is, it's all very healthy, and it fills you up without making you feel like a giant ball of grease. I especially like this stuff that is sort of like gnocchi with a spicy sauce on it. Mmmm. Gnochhi-like substance. 

The British teacher and his girlfriend, one of the Korean teachers, took Angela and me out to a Korean Barbeque in Seoul the other day, and it was some of the best cuisine I have ever tasted (I came THIS close to naming this blog "Korean BBQ: The Man, the Myth, the Legend"). Apparently, there are a lot of these in the U.S., but I'd never been to one. You cook your meat--beef, pork, chicken--on a little stove with coals right in front of you, place it on a bed of lettuce and a sesame seed leaf, add a bit of garlic, onions, and chili sauce, wrap it up and badabing, badaboom, pop the whole thing right into your unsuspecting mouth. Then your taste buds dance with joy.

Last night, we had a going away party for the British teacher and his girlfriend at a seafood restaurant. Sad for me, because I really like them, happy for them, because they are off to travel Europe for two months. Enormous, steaming plates of seafood including octopus, crab, squid, and these little things that pop in your mouth when you bite them. Everyone keeps insisting that I try this kind of live octopus (or is it squid?) that suctions itself to your tongue as it goes down. 

Pass. 

Fortunately, they didn't serve that dish at this restaurant. A good time was had by all. Especially by my wallet. The director of the school insists on paying for everything when we go out, so he was footing the food and drink bill for at least 15 people. Insane.

Speaking of drinks that are not coffee, Koreans have several interesting kinds of alcohol that I've never heard of before. Rice wine, which looks like milk, but tastes a bit like sprite, raspberry wine, plum wine...all very delicious.

They also have their own kind of liquor, called soju. Not quite as strong as the standards, but still taken in shots, and still, to use the colloquial term, fucks you up. Too many shots of soju means lots of water and painkillers in the morning. Watch out for the soju.

In summation:

Korean coffee bad.

Korean food good. 

Korean alcohol...makes you bump into things and have mysterious bruises the next day.

Till next time.